Episode 28

It's Episode 28! Live from Oakland's Revolution Cafe! We say things and do stuff. What do want from me? Just listen to it already!

Episode 28

Episode 27

The much-anticipated return of The Cosmopolitan Hour! We explain our unusually long absence and babysit a ridiculous 150 lb. dog.

Episode 27

Episode 26

We talk about marriage hatahs, custom plates, leather daddies, and more.

Episode 26

Episode 25

This one’s for the dudes! We discuss a few ads that have been pissing us off lately that try to give men the body image mindfuck that women have been “enjoying” for the past couple of millennia. Plus a dispatch on the richest county in the United States and we respond to a few comments from listeners! You can email us directly at TheCosmopolitanHour@gmail.com.

Episode 25

Episode 24

We started this one with good intentions to talk about sizeism, we really did. Then it sort of degenerates into a messy sludge of distraction, background beeps and roars, and Jordan's insatiable mobile phone. Listen at your own risk.

Episode 24

A Very Special Episode of The Cosmopolitan Hour: Mackeycare

We fly off the fucking handle and rip into Whole Foods founder and CEO John Mackey's All-American Health Care Solution for a full hour plus. Bring extra towels, we're really foaming at the mouth for this one.

Mackeycare! ...(not a musical)

Episode 23

A Very Special Episode in which we talk about study drugs. Plus more Glenn Beck nonsense, Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, and we get all ranty and feminist. Also tune in to hear Jordan ask Erika, “what kinds of things do two elderly wizards do on a date?”

Episode 23

Episode 22

OMG We answer our emailzes!!! And answer a listener’s challenge to give her vegan tattoo ideas. You want to chip in? She’s open to suggestions, so email us! We add an addendum to last week’s Douchebag award winner Glen Beck, and introduce this week’s winner, Derrick Jensen! We wrap up with a talk about the finest cultural offerings the Western Hemisphere has to offer, from Kevin Federline to Insane Clown Posse.

Episode 22

Episode 21

We reiterate the true meaning of 'vegan' and enjoy a round-table discussion on The Room. Also with a bonus commentary track for the last five minutes of Daisy of Love!

Episode 21

Episode 20

In this episode, we start out by talking about kick-ass sea creatures, then move on to batshit-crazy celebrities we hate, like Victoria Jackson and Bono! Listeners of this podcast will also hear A Beautiful Joke and a review of Tommy Wiseau’s cinematic tour-de-force The Room. We debate who has the nastiest culinary heritage: is it Jordan and the Scottish haggis, or Erika with the Swedish pickled herring? Emily Deschanel is vegan, but her show Bones is ridiculous- at least when it tries to take on Norwegian black metal. And we review the new vegan candy bars from Go Max Go foods.

Episode 20

Episode 19

Our most vegan episode to date! In a desperate and shameless bid to win some write-in votes for VegNews' Best Vegan Podcast, we talk about this and that- but with a common, uniting theme. Everything's VEGAN! Imagine that.

Episode 19

Episode 18

We answer some emails, introduce you to the man of our dreams, talk some more about feminism and grooming, Intervention, and movies about the rapture starring celebrities. A mega monster episode!

Episode 18

Episode 17

Another live drinkcast from Bender's Bar and Grill! Also with two special guests: Jamie and Molly, one of whom is a dog. Can you guess which one? We talk about men with bangs, more Iron Maiden, and the craziest neighbors ever.

Episode 17

Episode 16

We talk about feminist stuff and apocalypse movies. Not the cool ones, the ones with Kirk Cameron. Listen to it now. We own you!!!

Episode 16

Episode 15

We're back with a whimper! A continuation of Episode 14 and a small addendum from Erika on where to stuff your face in the Schengen states. Vaygun Schengen! Links coming to the blog soon. Regular weekly podcasting begins again, starting now! Woo!

Episode 15

Episode 14

In this very sophisticated episode, we give you the secret to solving all your money problems. In the cultural arena, we weigh the artistic merits of Keanu Reeves films from 1988-1992 and the Caruso One-Liner.

Episode 14

Episode 13

Another live drinkcast, but this time with caffeine instead of booze! We muck it up on site from Mojo Cafe, covering such topics as gross body parts, swine flu, paranoia, moms, dicks, cell phone etiquette, golfing, and Bruce Dickinson's pants. Plus we admire some guy's amazing hair and suffer through The Smiths. Enjoy!

Episode 13

Episode 12

The winningest exes, Leonard Part 6 and the vegan prophesy, Molly the killer kanine, Iron Maiden, Skinny Bastard, and more!

Episode 12

Robots Win

I personally welcome our new robot overlords.

Episode 11

It's just us losers this week, as we talk teabagging, name-calling, feminism, wrasslin', Jem and the Holograms, Teen Witch, Desperate Living, and the art of taking advice. 

Episode 11

Episode 10

With special guests Isa Chandra Moskowitz, Melisser the Urban Housewife, and Strummer the Terrorhemoth! Blah blah blah...

Episode 10

Episode 9

We're back with another special guest! Another installation in our ongoing series examining Shit Talking, talk about suitable vegan dickmeat substitute, embracing shiftlessness, roid rage, and teabagging.

Episode 9

Episode 8

A live, prerecorded drinkcast from Bender's Bar and Grill! This episode is all about being unemployed: the worst bosses, the best in stolen office supplies, and the soul-crushingest work music. With special guest Jaymoh! This episode is a wee bit short thanks to the two burnt-out dilds who showed up and ruined the last ten minutes of the program with their obnoxious background yammering. Thanks for being a friend!

Episode 8

Skills

I just saw this on YouTube and was blown away. As total schmoes who are slowly learning the art of editing, mixing, sampling, etc. on the iGeneration-version of a preschool-level editing program, we can more than appreciate the effort, vision, and straight up skills that went into this. Golf clap.




A finder's golf clap goes to Ben of Suicide Food (via the Post Punk Kitchen). Sir, you are a gentleman and an adventurer.
--Erika

Episode 7

Report back from Wondercon 2009, cooking boners*, gays vs. animals, Internet urban legends, spam, BART people, gossip you don't get to hear about some stupid chick in LA, and another edition of Weird Shit in Jordan's House. Support HOOTEN's 600 mile bike trip from Portland, Oregon, to Orland, California to raise money for Farm Animal Sanctuary! Plus Erika sounds like an 80 year old Reno cocktail waitress and stuffs her face. 

*by 'boners,' we mean 'bloopers.'

Episode 7

Episode 6

Talkin' 'bout cilantro, feminist and non-feminist movies, haunted houses, and the exciting world of T-shirts, plus Mike the Errant Husband creates a bunch of ruckus while insisting he doesn't want to be on the show.

Episode 6

Episode 5

Our most craptacularly nonsensical episode ever! In between Molly the dog's rude attempts to alternately ruin the recording and kick Jordan's ass, we manage to wrap up some loose ends from last week's Shit Talkin' Time, explore our favorite roadside attractions the world over, and wonder aloud why frat boys manage to get good bands play at their stupid houses. Plus sneak previews of a hawt new vegan blog and Cafe Gratitude's raw and vegan Mission district taqueria.

Episode 5

Episode 4

Headline news, polydactylism, and an epic Shit Talkin' Time segment on PETA. Also, February is Zombie Preparedness Month-- Are you ready? Jordan and Erika talk about the relative safety of their homes against zombies, and pass along zombie-related dispatches from Katie and Brian Badmouth of Don't Eat Off the Sidewalk and Pranjal of The Metal Minute(s). Plus, a new edition of Weird Shit in Jordan's House. We pass the value on to YOU!

Episode 4

Episode 3

Tater tots, Headline News, Evangelical fashion, crime-fighting fashion, and Weird Stuff In Jordan's House. Jordan reviews Tropic Thunder and brags about Canada. Erika reviews Otto; Or, Up With Dead People. The startling truth about Josh Hooten and Michael J. Fox is revealed. Plus dispatches from Katie Badmouth, editor of Don't Eat Off The Sidewalk; Pranjal's Funny Stories; and The Metal Minute. Isa Chandra Moskowitz's dispatch is a piece of poo due to technical difficulties :(.

Episode 3

Episode 2

The Cosmopolitan Hour debuts the new feature "Shit Talkin' Time." Jordan and Erika also talk about Battlestar Galactica (featuring fan art), Hitler's acting career, the Duggar family freakshow, their undying hatred of hippies, the Furminator, and Rhinestone: an early 80s interpretation of Shaw's Pygmalion by Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton. All our correspondents are MIA except for The Metal Minute. Thanks a lot, jerks!

Episode 2

Episode 1

Presenting the premiere episode of The Cosmopolitan Hour, a new podcast featuring rude vegan feminists Erika and Jordan. In the first episode, we introduce ourselves, have a great San Francisco Burrito-off, discuss a few movies, and some other fun stuff. 

Episode 1