Episode 77

Totem pole shenanigans, vegan idioms, and more!

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Episode 76

Iron Maiden can’t be bought. But The Cosmopolitan Hour can, for a mere fistful of donuts and twenty gallons of beer. Our Sugar Mama Jengomonas pays us a visit from Land O’Donuts (aka Las Vegas) and spoils us like an ambassador! Plus, she is one funny ass ladybro. Listen and enjoy.



Click here to listen to Episode 76 now!

Episode 75

Reporting back on the 1% of podcasts, When Hippies Become Bosses, and we talk about movies and tv and stuff.

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Episode 74

Why is it we’re expected to laugh when a man is sexually assaulted? And on the topic of assaults, Jordan gently reminds us of the true meaning of “triggering.” Earthquakes! And Crazy! And finally, we preach to the choir and sing the praises of the Occupy movement. Oh and PS France hates vegetarians; hence, animals.

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Episode 73

We get all highbrow and discuss ART! Plus some other junk, ya know.

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Episode 72

Butts.

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Episode 71

We return to San Francisco with two new secret boozy locations! Jordan introduces a new segment with the inspiring tale of an intrepid vegan who raised $10,000 in donations for... her vacation. Erika laments the disappearance of a San Francisco institution. Plus, wiseassery.


Click here to listen to Episode 71 right now!

Vida Vegan Con Special Part 2

Part two of our coverage of Vida Vegan Con is here. We interview Panda with Cookie, Kittee of xgfx.org and Papa Tofu, Terry Romero, and more! Clearly with the best minds in veganism all in one place, we could have asked some hard-hitting questions and explored some really complex dilemmas. Instead, we opted to talk about cats and farts and stuff. You were expecting Diane Saywer?

Click here to listen to the Vida Vegan Con Special, Part 2!

Vida Vegan Conference Special Part 1!

We came! We saw! We talked! Now you too can experience (or re-live) the exciting events of Vida Vegan Conference 2011. Join us as for pre-flight drinks in Oakland, an opening address from hysterical bitch Laura Beck of Vegansaurus!, a sneak peek at the hottest new linguistics trend courtesy of Ben from Suicide Food, and much, much more. We had a blast making this, we hope you have half as much fun listening!

Listen to Part 1 of the Vida Vegan Con Special now!

We're TV stars!

Hey everyone! We're having a blast here at Vida Vegan Con (what else is new?), and we just recorded a mini promo video! Now you can watch voices come OUT OF FACES. It's a whole new Cosmopolitan Hour experience! CAN YOU HANDLE IT?!?!?!

Watch our short video! It's only about 4 minutes. How can you say no to that? What else would you do with 4 minutes? Give someone CPR? Get a life, you jerk!

Having a blast at Vida Vegan Con!

The plan was to upload snippets and photos to the blog throughout the weekend, but holy shmoley! These fine ladies have been keeping us busy with fun events and simply talking with friends old and new. Suffice to say we are having the time of our lives. For realz.

The good news is that Erika has already begun editing the first part of our VVC special episode(s?), and we will be uploading a new episode to make love to your ears, right on schedule, tomorrow!

We'll also be uploading some fun photos and!!! Linking to a short video that we just recorded for the live stream!

(it's okay, you can watch it again even though it's no longer live.)

Thanks for listening, and stay golden!

We Have a Winner!

This was really, really hard. Seriously! It sounds like something cliched people say after contests, but to quote Crackers in Pink Flamingos, we "wouldn't shit ya." We wish everyone who entered could attend- and even though we can only give away one more entry to the Con, we sincerely hope to meet and mingle with all of you at all the public events and in the bee-yootiful Portland area this weekend!

That said, we proudly announce that celyn, you are going to Vida Vegan Con this weekend! It was a close race, but ultimately celyln's tale of selflessly spending a small fortune on her ailing kitty's medical care won us over- vegans are suckers for a sick kitty story, and Jordan and I are no exception. In fact, we've both shared your experience of forgoing our own health insurance while paying dearly for our befurred ones' care, and we know from experience that if anyone has earned a mini-vacation, it's you.

Congratulations to celyn, and thank you deeply to everyone who participated. We are truly thankful for everything you do for the vegan community and, most importantly, the animals! We look forward to meeting you all this weekend.

MINUTE TO WIN IT SWEEPSTAKES

Hello! My name is Erika and my friend Jordan and I do a once-in-a-weekly podcast called The Cosmopolitan Hour. We have exciting news at this late hour!

We are procrastinators. I mean, obviously. But we’ve got our reasons: Jordan is biking 30-60 miles a day to train for the Ride to the Light Three-Sanctuary Century; and I am working my way through the Buffy: the Vampire Slayer on Netflix from the comfort of my beer can fort; not to mention we both work full time. You may be like us. You are busy, or float around happily with your head in the clouds, or perhaps come from a dimension that experiences time differently than we do in ours. Whatever the reason, time slips away from you. You needed to get to Vida Vegan Con, you meant to, and you didn’t.

But you still could.
A good procrastinator always has a good reason (Id., Buffy). Just give us your best reason in the comments below. That’s it. Give us a reason to give you the last ticket to Vida Vegan Con 2011.

Here are the rules:

1. This giveaway is for one entry to the conference only. The winner must be in the Portland area or able to get to the Portland area and house themselves for the conference. Seriously: Do not enter this contest if you cannot get to Portland by this weekend (that’s Portland, Oregon. Just to be clear).

2. Jordan and I are the judges. Our whims are unpredictable and fanatical, and you are at our mercy. So it’s best to just be honest and be yourself.

3. Your comment must be posted by Midnight PST tonight! The winner will be announced Wednesday at Noon PST. And we really will try to make that deadline!

4. Your entry must fit in the comment box! Keep it brief, and beautifully punctuated, and leave us wanting more. We will say, “my goodness, we must meet this charming internet stranger. They gave us just the right amount of scintillating detail that we must learn more from them, immediately, and therefore they wiiiiiiiiin!”

Some examples of good reasons:

“Last Chanakah, my husband cashed in his frequent flier miles to buy me a ticket to Portland, but I had spent my Vida Vegan Con money on a handsome faux-leather carrying case for his frequent flier card. Oh, the bitter irony!”

“My bastard boss wouldn’t let me know if I could take this week off until too late. Now he changed his mind and has told me it is in fact the only time off I am allowed all year until Christmas.”

“I’m passionate about veganism and looking to build a community with friends and colleagues this weekend. I never thought I would make it out to Portland from Allentown, but after my surprise quickie wedding to a flight attendant in Atlantic City last month, I can fly when I want, where I want!”

So what are you waiting for? Go!

Episode 70

We relocate to yet another exciting bar to delegate super powers, discuss the Bay Area Rapid Transit's shortcomings (namely: BART cops keep killing civilians), and some other stuff, all while keeping a shrewd eye on the SFPD while they attempt to hassle commuter cyclists.

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Epishode Shixshtynine

We're back in the cave, talking about cavey things! And drinking with dainty glasses.

Click here to listen to Episode 69

Episode 68

Makeovers, tourists, and more!

Also: Autumn is Numero Uno!!!

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Episode 67

A podcast in three acts! First: the vegan community has $2,500 burning a hole in its pocket! We offer a humble reality check on what that kind of money could accomplish for veganism (hint: it's not a laptop). Second: we Hit the Streets and discuss our hatred of unnecessary English-language remakes. Third: We hide out in a cave and discuss sexist and speciesist ad campaigns. Rage with us, won't you?

Click here to Listen to Episode 67

Your Money: Give Us It.

Please stay tuned for an important message from The Cosmopolitan Hour:

We like to drink. We like to podcast. We think we do the latter better when we combine it with the former.

Over the past two-and-a-half years, Jordan and Erika have provided you with quality (and not-so-quality) ruminations on our world from a feminist and vegan perspective. We've talked with such vegan luminaries and Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Laura Beck. We've reviewed vegan books and movies. Most importantly, we've kept you up to date on the things that bother us, the people who really matter, and we've used a lot of bad words doing it.

We recently realized that while some podcasts are fundraising for fancy microphones and editing equipment, we’ve been giving away our golden voices and platinum-plated ideology for free, like suckers! So it’s time to start paying up, listeners.

We want to drink more beer so that we can bring you more and higher quality entertainment. Sure, we could pay for it with our own money, that we get from working jobs, but why would we do that when there are people out there willing to throw money at us simply by virtue of our having voiced a desire to receive it?

[Actually, we’re not really asking for beer money. We’re audacious assholes, don’t get us wrong, but even we have our limits. We’re really going to give the money to the coordinators of Vida Vegan Con, a vegan blogging conference, to sponsor a low-income ticket to this year’s sold-out event. Podcasting should be free to do- and learn- for everyone.]

What, you want a kickback? We can arrange that. Here is our tiered prize system:

$1-25 will get you a mention and corresponding adulation on the podcast (unless you don't want us to).

$25 will get you a super duper Cosmopolitan Hour t-shirt!

If you want to give more than $25, then holy crap, you spoil us, Ambassador! We would, I don’t know, take you to one of the Bay Area’s premiere tiki bars and proceed to work our way through both the drinks menu and the spectrum of human emotions. It would start with a Macadamia Chi Chi and an “I love you, man!” and end with a Borneo Fogcutter and “I never realized that I needed to forgive my parents,” with a Scorpion Bowl and “I mean, we’re all the same, really” somewhere in between. [Yeah, that sounds about right].

So uh, yeah. Give us money. So we can give it to someone who deserves it. That is all.

Episode 66

We take spam seriously! And explore whether real lesbians actually exist in the wake of LesblogGate. Plus, Shenanigans and Japes from the Sporting World with That Gentleman of Funny Stories, Pranjal.

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Episode 65

Sports, listener emails, vegan possum/raccoon meat substitutes, the Return of The Great Endless Burrito Debate (2011 Edition), spirit animals, and more weird street harassment.

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Episode 64

We get waist-deep in a whole lotta reader mail and then tackle a bunch of feminist issues, plus we address Danielle Steele's problem with San Francisco.


Click here to listen to Episode 64!

Episode 63

The Cosmopolitan Hour gets transformed into Mean Girls for Episode 63! We read some fan mail, discuss fashion, and then talk shit about commoners in the street from our high horses.

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Episode 62

Peg Bundy. Don’t hassle us, we’re locals. Our favorite show and the resulting all girl vegan motorcycle gang. Jordan wants you to wear a helmet, or else a serial killer will abduct you in France! The living soap opera of douchey bike hipsters, weird looking boobs, and San Francisco’s cutest hobo that is Jack Kerouac Alley. Plus a showdown faceoff between the Canadian and American ten dollar bills. WHICH COUNTRY WILL WIN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE?!?! Also, our long-anticipated and highly sought opinions on StockPhotoGate 2011. Gross dudes hollerin in the street. Damn, we talk about a lot this week.


Click here to listen to Episode 62

Episode 60.5

Guess what? We recorded two versions of Episode 60! Turns out our recorder is not the piece of crap we thought it was.

In this episode we discuss slap-happy frat boy pervs in punk bars, illegal immigrants fight back, Scientology and other ridiculous religions, goin’ home to Mama Canada, and more about our crazy exes.

Click here to listen to Episode 60.5

Episode 60.0

As the name implies, we may be back with even more Episode 60 fun later this week! For now, enjoy part one of our conversation all about Nic Cage's finer films, Jordan's best week ever, and more!

Click here to listen to Episode 60.0

Episode 59

We're back with more than an hour of drink-sodden madness as we discuss some more stuff, most of which we can't remember.

Click here to listen to Episode 59

Episode 58

We get sloppy at our new favorite bar, 15 Romolo and talk about body hair. Really, that’s most of the episode. It’s either our best or worst podcast ever.

This is a court-mandated Public Service Announcement: Please, don’t drink and pod. 

Click here to listen to Episode 58

Episode 57

Piss, vinegar, and Venezuelan corn! Wacky stories of historical San Francisco! Erika’s life plan to be an irresponsible 19 year old even though she’s 31! We pitch a Lifetime Movie!


Click here to listen to Episode 57

Episode 56

We interview a special guest, Kelly Peloza, author of The Vegan Cookie Connoisseur, and discuss a bunch of other pertinent (sorta) topics. Please tell us, do you hear a ghost at 2:57? More importantly, why would there be a ghost in Erika's house and what is it trying to say?



Click here to listen to Episode 56.

Episode 55

We talk about Dudes We Love, hire a new producer, plan for our celebration of San Francisco in film, the women gangsters who terrorized Victorian London, stupid rich assholes, and we answer email, plus Erika gets a BIG SURPRISE!


Episode 55 comes with a special video supplement! You can download it via iTunes or view it on The Cosmopolitan Hour’s YouTube channel.


Click Here to Listen to Episode 55.